Recently I’ve been reading Susan Cain’s book ‘Quiet’ which has the strapline:
“The Power of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking.”
It’s an illuminating read and one that really helps people, who may have introvert tendencies, to better understand themselves.
I’m one of those people. Possibly an ambivert (an extroverted introvert) as described here by the lovely Jules or a pseudo-extrovert but I undoubtedly am inclined to prefer “calm, minimally stimulating environments” and do tend to regain my “energy by spending time alone”.
However, this post is not a review of this book, although I very much recommend it.
It’s a little light-hearted comment on how to spot if you have a friend who may be an introvert.
They are one of the first to arrive at a social gathering…
Introverts may find walking into a busy room overwhelming so could plan to turn up first in order to avoid this.
…And may be one of the first to leave too.
An introvert’s energy levels will rapidly deplete at a social occasion so they will soon be ready to head home and off to bed.
They are inclined to answer questions about themselves fairly briefly….
Introverts tend to avoid situations where they are the centre of attention.
…but will quickly turn the table to ask lots of questions of others!
People with introvert tendencies will deflect attention from themselves by firing questions at the people around them.
They may shy away from holidays with friends or extended family….
It’s just too exhausing!
Or retreat behind their book, or for an early night, if they are on a weekend away friends.
Please don’t take it personally but an introvert will seek out alone time alone when surrounded by others (even people they really love/like) 24/7.
They will also seek alone time during a busy working day by finding a quiet space or going for a walk by themselves.
Building quiet time into a busy day is really important to anyone with introvert tendencies.
They will prefer to write their feelings down then articulate them verbally.
Introverts are more inclined to write about things that are important to them, rather than talk about them.
They won’t always pick up the phone.
Small talk may not be their forte.
Introverts would much prefer to talk about ‘big issues’ than discuss seemingly inconsequential things.
They may notice subtleties about other people’s changes in behaviour that others miss.
They can often be highly sensitive to other’s moods and changes in behaviour.
They are happy to listen.
If lots of these points ring true about a friend (or indeed yourself) then it’s valuable to keep in mind these points the next time they dip out of a party early or politely avoid the big group holiday.
They’re not being rude, aloof, distant or anti-social.
They are just being true to their introverted ways.