12 Ways To Spot An Introvert

Recently I’ve been reading Susan Cain’s book ‘Quiet’ which has the strapline:

“The Power of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking.”

It’s an illuminating read and one that really helps people, who may have introvert tendencies, to better understand themselves.

I’m one of those people.  Possibly an ambivert (an extroverted introvert) as described here by the lovely Jules or a pseudo-extrovert but I undoubtedly am inclined to prefer “calm, minimally stimulating environments” and do tend to regain my “energy by spending time alone”.  

Lady holding a book called Quiet in her hand with her feet showing

However, this post is not a review of this book, although I very much recommend it.

It’s a little light-hearted comment on how to spot if you have a friend who may be an introvert.

They are one of the first to arrive at a social gathering…

Introverts may find walking into a busy room overwhelming so could plan to turn up first in order to avoid this.

…And may be one of the first to leave too.

An introvert’s energy levels will rapidly deplete at a social occasion so they will soon be ready to head home and off to bed.

They are inclined to answer questions about themselves fairly briefly….

Introverts tend to avoid situations where they are the centre of attention.

…but will quickly turn the table to ask lots of questions of others!

People with introvert tendencies will deflect attention from themselves by firing questions at the people around them.

They may shy away from holidays with friends or extended family….

It’s just too exhausing!

Or retreat behind their book, or for an early night, if they are on a weekend away friends.

Please don’t take it personally but an introvert will seek out alone time alone when surrounded by others (even people they really love/like) 24/7.

They will also seek alone time during a busy working day by finding a quiet space or going for a walk by themselves.

Building quiet time into a busy day is really important to anyone with introvert tendencies.

They will prefer to write their feelings down then articulate them verbally.

Introverts are more inclined to write about things that are important to them, rather than talk about them.

They won’t always pick up the phone.

See above!

Small talk may not be their forte.

Introverts would much prefer to talk about ‘big issues’ than discuss seemingly inconsequential things.

They may notice subtleties about other people’s changes in behaviour that others miss.

They can often be highly sensitive to other’s moods and changes in behaviour.

They are happy to listen.

Enough said.


If lots of these points ring true about a friend (or indeed yourself) then it’s valuable to keep in mind these points the next time they dip out of a party early or politely avoid the big group holiday.

They’re not being rude, aloof, distant or anti-social.

They are just being true to their introverted ways.


handwritten Hayley


  1. October 20, 2018 / 9:40 am

    Well it just show2 me I am a mix of these qualities, certainly not completely introverted – or extroverted. #thesatsesh

  2. emptynestmummy
    October 20, 2018 / 10:28 am

    That sounds like a great book! Thanks for the recommendation. #thesatsesh

  3. Tracey Abrahams
    October 20, 2018 / 10:33 am

    I’m an introvert and its only recently been pointed out that always ask a lot of questions, checking up on others I also never answer the phone.


  4. October 20, 2018 / 1:49 pm

    I know several introvert s#satsesh@_karendenbid199@gmail is

  5. October 20, 2018 / 4:42 pm

    I am an introvert and find people exhausting. I definately need time out to be by myself X #thesatsesh

  6. October 20, 2018 / 5:13 pm

    Interestingly enough I would never have considered myself an introvert but I do actually tick most of your boxes above. I must look into this further. #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 22, 2018 / 10:54 pm

      That is interesting Catie! Do and let me know what you find. xx

  7. October 20, 2018 / 5:35 pm

    I’m sure the grey area is a lot wider than we think, probably few people are clearly the one or the other #thesatsesh

  8. October 20, 2018 / 6:55 pm

    Every one of those points describes me, but I’ve always known about my introverted ways. That book has been on my Amazon wishlist for a while now – perhaps I’ll buy it now! #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 22, 2018 / 10:54 pm

      Do – it’s eye-opening! xx

  9. thesingleswan
    October 20, 2018 / 9:14 pm

    I am an off the scale introvert. I tick all of these boxes with bells on. I have a really busy job and am in meetings all day. I find that I really need to just chill in the evenings. I always write down rather than vocalise my feelings – hence my blog was born. I hate going on holiday with large groups of people, in fact I spent 5 days in New York on my own this year and have just booked a weekend in Paris. I go to parties, but I always make sure that I try to leave on my own to travel home – it probably isn’t very safe to do this, but after all of the socialising I find that small talk on the night bus home is hard work.
    Pen x #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 22, 2018 / 10:53 pm

      This all makes sense to me Pen – a weekend alone in Paris sounds bliss! xx

  10. mackenzieglanville
    October 21, 2018 / 9:04 am

    Yes boxes ticked, no doubt about it. I like socialising in a familiar environment where I am with people I feel comfortable with, but after a while I am just craving time alone! Great post

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 22, 2018 / 10:52 pm

      You and me both! Thanks so much for commenting xx

  11. October 24, 2018 / 7:11 pm

    I think it’s important that we are in tune with ourselves be we an introvert or not #thesatsesh

  12. October 24, 2018 / 7:43 pm

    #thesatsesh I don’t consider myself at all introvert BUT do hit all of these areas, I think these qualities (for me) come from being an only child…another book to add to my list 🙂

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 25, 2018 / 12:49 pm

      Ooooh yes the only child thing makes sense – it is a very interesting book xx

  13. October 27, 2018 / 1:41 pm

    This book sounds like an interesting read. I’m definitely an introvert, although I don’t tick all of those boxes. I crave time alone and avoid talking on the phone as much as possible. #thesatsesh

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