Next Time You Ask ‘How Are You?’…

Next time you ask ‘How are You?’…

I'm Fine

Really listen to the reply.

Take a moment to look at the person.

Make eye contact and

glimpse the reality of their situation.

Look past the ‘I’m fine.’

Find the clues in their facial expression;

their body language too.

Pause for a moment.

Consider the bigger picture

not just the response parroted.

Maybe they are fine

but maybe they’re not.

All too often in our busy lives, we ask how people are without really taking on board, or really waiting for, their response.  Today is World Mental Health Day and at school we are encouraging our students to engage with the Time To Change campaign to ‘Be in Your Mate’s Corner.’

The Mental Health Foundation also runs the ‘I’m fine’ campaign – a powerful wake-up call to all of us to look beyond the automatic response many people give when asked the question ‘How are you?’.

So today and in the future let’s all try to ‘be in our mate’s corner’ a bit more.  After all this is an important message for young and old alike.

Love and best wishes (and hoping you really are all fine).

handwritten Hayley


#ablogginggoodtime

 

27 Comments

  1. October 12, 2017 / 7:48 am

    Yes to this.

    You see, it’s all well and good us saying “it’s time to talk”. But what about time to listen. Are there enough people around to listen and listen well? To help? To take action?

    I worry about the “progress” we’ve made with regards to mental health. I see trending topics on Twitter. I see the royals talking about it at events and in the press. But that’s it. And I worry it’s all platitudes. #ablogginggoodtime

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 12, 2017 / 9:05 pm

      I know exactly what you mean. I worry about the path we are taking in schools too… xx

  2. October 13, 2017 / 10:19 am

    I think half the time we say, ‘how are you?’ But don’t listen to the replies because we are not fine ourselves? I know I am guilty of this.
    You are my #blogcrush over at LUCY at home lovely. I love you blog and read it often. Xxx

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:42 pm

      Thank youuuuuuuu so much – that’s so lovely of you and yes I think you are right. This happens especially in schools when you want to be there for a colleague but are so overstreched yourself that taking on anyone else’s stuff just can’t happen at that moment…I guess it happens everywhere but I really feel this at school sometimes. Thanks again for your kind words xx

  3. October 14, 2017 / 7:14 am

    Back from #thesatsesh – such an important post x

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:39 pm

      Thanks hon xx

  4. October 14, 2017 / 7:15 am

    Hm, yes Ithink sometimes we just ask on auto pilot and don’t listen. Not because we don’t care, it is just as autonomous as saying please ro thank you. I will make a concerted effort today (and here on out)! #thatsatsesh

  5. October 14, 2017 / 7:50 am

    I like to think I am a good listener and can encourage people to open up. That’s the bit I’m good at. Friends know that they can talk to me. What I struggle with is responding or knowing what to say back. It makes me feel really awkward. The anxieties in me start making me over analyse my response and then I end up saying something stupid or not saying anything at all. I’ve recently started just being honest and saying I don’t know what to say or how to make this better. Sometimes I think that works. But maybe it doesn’t. #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:38 pm

      I think that doe work. People just generally want to b listened to so that’s so good that you’re good at that. xx

  6. October 14, 2017 / 7:51 am

    Listening truly listening is such a skill. This is great. Just discovered your blog and I love it!

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:36 pm

      Awwww thanks so much – that’s very kind of you to say. xx

  7. October 14, 2017 / 8:12 am

    This was a great read. From my experience people are quick to ask if your ok and then move on. It’s been hard to find someone that truly listens. I saw different counsellors after my birth and finally found one that sat and said I’m just going to sit and when your ready talk to me about anything you want. Even if it’s about what you ate last night, she just sat and listened. It took me ages to open up and trust, But rather than ask a million questions, diagnose me and move on. She just sat and listened and said what she thought when I’d stopped talking. It really made a difference to me anyway, Xx

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:36 pm

      She sounds like a lovely lady. I’m so pleased you found her. Thanks for sharing xx

  8. October 14, 2017 / 4:18 pm

    Very true, every day I head “how are you?” “good thanks, and you?” as a general hello / hi / greeting. It’s important to acknowledge someone’s response, as quite often they might not be as perfect as they hope to show you #thesatsesh

  9. October 14, 2017 / 4:29 pm

    It’s so interesting how we become accustomed to certain behaviours and I love the way you say
    “the response parroted.”
    That’s totally what it is! I know when asked this question myself that somehow, I worry that I might be seen as rude on some level to not give an, ‘I’m fine,’ response, which is ridiculous. Definitely something we should all be thinking more about, its so important to just talk honestly to each other. #thesatsesh

  10. October 14, 2017 / 8:05 pm

    We hardly listen to the answer – how sad and true is that? #thesatsesh

  11. October 15, 2017 / 4:51 am

    I don’t like to use “i’m fine” but it just sums up everything sometimes. I feel like “I’m fine” has 100+ meanings too, and some of it depends on your tone. Idk if that makes sense. Gotta work on this one. #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:32 pm

      That does make sense xx

  12. mackenzieglanville
    October 15, 2017 / 6:05 am

    loved that being in your mates corner youtube clip, I had to share that! My dad suffered depression and his best mate from high school really came out to support him even though they were now both in their 60’s, it was great to see. #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:30 pm

      That is really touching Mackenzie – thanks for sharing xx

  13. mackenzieglanville
    October 15, 2017 / 6:12 am

    This is such an important post! I am stopping back from #ablogginggoodtime thank you so much for linking up with us!

  14. October 15, 2017 / 1:46 pm

    TEchnology, all designed for connectedness, is doing just the opposite. We communicate in acronyms and emoji’s and no longer talk or even pick up the phone. Really connecting with another human is getting fractured by technology. While we are face to face, we must do our best to fall back on ‘old-fashioned’ ideas like listening, connecting and responding. I fear how we’ll become if we don’t ! Great post. #thesatsesh xoxo

    • onamindfulmummymission
      October 15, 2017 / 10:29 pm

      Very well said – syes we all have to be so careful of what you talk about in your comment xx

  15. October 15, 2017 / 5:05 pm

    Great post- mental health really is still a taboo topic although campaigns like this are bringing it into the open, Thank you for sharing. #thesatsesh

  16. October 16, 2017 / 7:20 pm

    Ohhh I’m really done lovely. This has nothing to do with the 4 sleeps until half term count down 😉
    However, I agree we are all too busy to not listen and to ask questions that we aren’t prepared to hear the response too. Humans suck x

  17. mackenzieglanville
    October 18, 2017 / 4:46 am

    I have chosen this post as my featured post for a blogging good time. Again such an important post thanks for liking up xx

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