You’re the one who…

At the end of the summer term I ran mindfulness-based workshops for some students. These sessions focused on compassion and gratitude and I showed the teens this video.

The clip explains that one way of spreading a little happiness is to be explicit with someone close to you about how grateful you are to them for the influence they have on your life.  It’s very simple.

Step 1:  write down anything that comes to mind that you particularly love about the person you are thinking of.

Step 2:  read the statement out to the person.

Heart and leaf

In the experiment the participant’s happiness levels increased between 4% – 19% when they actually verabalised their feelings.

So of course, I set the students a challenge to do this over the summer.   And it occurred to me that I should practice what I preach and do the challenge too.

Without further ado here is my letter to one of my nearest and dearest.  I read it to him last night (after a glass of wine!).

Dear You

 

You know who you are – you’re the one who…

…puts up with me when I’m at my grumpiest and most irritable at the end of a long day. 

In fact, you do lots more than put up with me.  More often than not you make me dinner while I sink down into the sofa and you never complain about how tired you are feeling, despite me always telling you how tired I am feeling. 

You are very aware of the impact teaching and ‘Mummying’ have on me and encourage me to be kind to myself when I need to be.  In fact the patience you show me astounds me.  You also send me lovely texts during the day if you think I need a boost AND I love how you seem to have embraced emojis recently – very 21st century of you!

You often make me a cuppa first thing in the morning and sometimes bring me a tea and a hot water and lemon if you can’t decide what mood I may be in.   

You want nothing but the best for our children and I love that we make a good team.  You are probably more domesticated than me; in fact you are often found filling the slow-cooker before hot-footing it for the 7.08am train.  Oh and by the way I admire you so much for how much you enjoy the work you do.  You seem to thrive on pressure and being stretched and challenged intellectually.

You are very reflective in all aspects of your life and have really taken on board me harping on about growth mindset! 

When it comes to parenting we can both be pretty hard on ourselves but you are quicker than me at reminding us of all the positives from a family day and I love hearing the laughter that comes from the room when you and the children are sharing a fun moment.

You are such a good role model for our children – honest, kind, patient, reliable, hardworking, and generous.  We are all very lucky to have you.  I have known you for nearly 20 years and you have always been quietly and unobtrusively protective of me, knowing me so well. 

Always supportive – you have helped me make my classroom Ofsted ready one weekend, you are always happy to proof read my blog posts and you have encouraged me to explore new avenues in my life with my mindfulness teacher training – I am very grateful for all of this and much more.   

 

Basically thank you for being you.  I love you lots.  xxx

 

Who would you write this type of letter to – telling a loved one the things you most appreciate about them?

Could you read it aloud to them?

Could you encourage your tweens and teens to watch the video this summer holiday and take up the challenge too?

If you do I’d love to hear how it goes –  good luck!

                     

The Pramshed
Mummy in a Tutu
Naptime Natter

50 Comments

  1. August 16, 2017 / 6:25 pm

    Blooming love it. I have a note in my purse that Mr wrote me a while back. I also like to do this on post it’s for random loving x
    Love a man that brings tea 🙂

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 16, 2017 / 9:29 pm

      Thanks lovely – hee hee re: random post-its..eldest got one in his packed lunch today as he’s at a summer school all week. I am that embarrassing Mum 🙂 xx

  2. August 17, 2017 / 8:11 am

    Oh this is such a lovely idea. It’s so easy to take the ones we love for granted and this is a lovely way of doing so. I did a similar thing to my husband at Christmas (without verbalising it though) and wrote and illustrated a book for him which was all about the little things I loved about him. It still makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I think about his reaction to that 🙂 #ablogginggoodtime

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 17, 2017 / 9:31 pm

      That’s a lovely thing to do too. Thanks for commenting xx

  3. August 17, 2017 / 4:14 pm

    That is amazing and while I didn’t write a letter I did sent a long text to my ex-husband thanking him for being an amazing father because even though we aren’t a couple doesn’t mean I have to hate him for the rest of my life and I do believe in showing appreciation when it’s called for. Sometimes people just need to feel appreciated. Great post! #ablogginggoodtime

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 17, 2017 / 9:31 pm

      Awwww what a lovely thing to do. Thanks for commenting xx

  4. Clare xxx
    August 17, 2017 / 10:36 pm

    That made me all teary. I’m so glad that you have each other for love, support and friendship. I have not ever written this sort of letter to Luke, but do frequently tell him the reasons I feel thankful for having him in my life xx

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 18, 2017 / 1:48 pm

      Ahhh well that’s lovely. Thanks for commenting Clare xx

  5. August 18, 2017 / 4:42 am

    Oh, this is lovely. I sat and cried at the man telling his mum that he loved her! (menopausal, forgive me) what a beautiful post!
    #ablogginggoodtime

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 18, 2017 / 1:49 pm

      Thank you – nothing to forgive – I often cry at that one too! xx

  6. August 19, 2017 / 9:29 pm

    I think I would die of embarrassment reading it aloud, thankfully I have my blog to tell my loved one (and the world!) how I feel #fortheloveofblog

  7. August 19, 2017 / 10:24 pm

    Beautiful thing to do, for all of those you love. Brilliant! I will do this and report back in… #fortheloveofblog

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 20, 2017 / 9:54 pm

      Great – thanks Lisa. Yes I will be writing more…. xx

  8. August 21, 2017 / 4:15 pm

    I’ve long been subscribed to Soul Pancake but this one seems to have slipped by me. Great to read your letter and I’m sure if I were to write about someone I’d pick my husband too. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 21, 2017 / 10:29 pm

      They’re fab aren’t they! Thanks for the comment xx

  9. August 22, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    Such a lovely idea! Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog

  10. August 26, 2017 / 10:29 am

    Lovely lovely lovely. There’s nothing I don’t love about this day!

    Thank YOU for adding some positivity to my day.

    #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:26 pm

      Thank you for the lovely comment xx

  11. August 26, 2017 / 10:55 am

    Such an important and lovely post! Hubbie and I used to write letters to one another when we were dating. I have kept them all and I love the fact that we have a history of falling in Love! Recognising the importance of our loved ones is perhaps being lost in the age of the internet? I’m not sure but I will try this with my teens. Thanks! #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:28 pm

      Yes I think technology in general may get in the way of this sort of stuff if we’re not careful. How lovely to have your old letters – I’m sure they are treasured. Thanks for the lovely comment xx

  12. August 26, 2017 / 10:56 am

    That’s great. Don’t assume people know how you feel. Tell them.

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:27 pm

      Exactly 🙂

  13. August 26, 2017 / 3:38 pm

    I’ve been thinking of writing something similar to my husband for a while now, even though I’m pretty sure he never reads my blog! It’s a lovely idea to get those feelings down although a little more scary to actually share them. It would be interesting to see what happens… xx #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:29 pm

      Do it!!!! I was more nervous than I thought when I read it to the hubby and I did cry a little!! xx

  14. August 26, 2017 / 3:43 pm

    Fantastic idea! I definitely need to do this for my hubby. I’ll also encourage my students to try it out too. All too often we forget to take the time out #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:30 pm

      Ooooh yes do on both counts. You are so right! xx

  15. August 26, 2017 / 5:45 pm

    Amazing idea, I don’t often tell my wife what I am thinking and how much I appreciate her. Time to change! #Thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:30 pm

      Yay – do it! 🙂

  16. August 26, 2017 / 5:46 pm

    Lovely letter. And great idea for a birthday/anniversary gift!

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:31 pm

      Yes that would be a lovely time to do it. Thanks for commenting. 🙂

  17. August 26, 2017 / 5:59 pm

    THIS…I needed to read this today! My husband & I often share these kind of reminders with each other but there are other people in my life that I need to do this. #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:31 pm

      So pleased to have helped. Yes I need to do it for other people next too! xx

  18. August 26, 2017 / 7:18 pm

    Great idea to write a letter like this- we don’t do this enough in our culture- thank you for sharing.

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:32 pm

      Thank you 🙂

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:32 pm

      Great! I’d love to hear how it goes 🙂

  19. August 27, 2017 / 8:15 am

    This is such a lovely idea and your partner sounds wonderful! Thank you for hosting #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 27, 2017 / 10:33 pm

      Awwww he is pretty awesome and thank YOU for linking up xx

  20. mackenzieglanville
    August 28, 2017 / 1:11 am

    Expressing my feelings and letting people know how I feel has always come easily to me for some reason, I think maybe it was my Grandma who would always say I should. #thesatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 28, 2017 / 8:29 pm

      Awwww that’s lovely xx

  21. Kate Orson
    August 28, 2017 / 10:36 am

    what a beautiful idea. Although if I did this for my husband I think he’d probably find it unbearably cheesy!

    • onamindfulmummymission
      August 28, 2017 / 8:28 pm

      Hee hee – yes I wonder if my hubby did but actually I think he apprecaited it! xx

  22. September 1, 2017 / 9:06 pm

    Aww that’s so lovely! I have just told my hubby how lovely he is after just getting Miss Belle a load of second hand peppa pig toys she’s going to love. He’s so thoughtful! I’ll try to remember to tell him more! #thesatsesh xx

    • onamindfulmummymission
      September 3, 2017 / 3:33 pm

      Awwww that’s good xx

  23. September 2, 2017 / 8:43 am

    Oh that’s beautiful, made me a bit emotional actually. What a good egg! Hat’s off for writing this, I would probably shy away from it but I know my OH would appreciate it if I did! #thatsatsesh

    • onamindfulmummymission
      September 3, 2017 / 3:32 pm

      Awwwww xx

Leave a Reply