Why Sometimes I Feel Less Like a Mindful Mummy and More Like a Monster One

It’s been one of those weekends. Things have been tricky in our household. There have been a fair few tears and tantrums (as much as from me as the kids) and I have raised my voice and snapped at the children more often than I would like to admit. The garden – a space we have been working on to make it as family friendly and conducive to relaxing as possible – turned into a ‘yelling zone’ with me clumsily intervening in way too many squabbles and fights. I worry about what the neighbours think and envision them labelling me as an ineffectual parent with feral children.  Even though I keep reminding myself that ‘thoughts are not facts’ and that it hopefully doesn’t sound half as bad as I’m imagining, I can’t help thinking we are the nightmare, noisy family on our row of terrace houses.

It came to a head today when we were getting ready to go out this morning.  I requested that everyone come and get some suncream on before we set out and all 3 children scattered in different directions shouting ‘No’. I went into a rant about how it wasn’t too much to ask to come and put suncream on before a nice trip out on a very hot day and just got more negativity back (not a surprise really – a rant like this is never going to bring sunshine back to the household) with the hubby finding me in a pool of tears on the kitchen floor – Happy Father’s Day to him!

Backs of Mum and three children looking at pig hut on farm

As you can see we did manage to get out of the house and have a nice time at the farm!

Now generally, if I find I am having a hard parenting day, and my patience is wearing thin, I, like Karen at Two Tiny Hands who wrote this recently, tend to blame tiredness. I am pretty used to feeling sleep deprived, getting on average about 6 hours sleep a night (and this is usually interrupted at least once).  However the Fitbit recorded that I got a whopping 9 hours and 23 minutes sleep last night (I was ratty and knackered so went to bed as soon as the kid’s did – so rock and roll of me on a Saturday night I know) so it couldn’t really be that.  So what, apart from the heat, made me lose my cool this weekend?

Well kids will be kids and who knows what is going on in their own world at the moment, but for me, I think it’s the hormones.  And I think I can be more specific than that.  I went to see the doctor a few weeks ago and she made a throw-away comment about there being some indications that synthetic progesterone can cause low mood.  I do take progesterone in tablet form at certain times and so did a little research. Yes, there does seem to be some links, as you can read here.  So when I notice the hormonal changes kicking in and having an impact on my mood I will ‘up’ some of these self-care strategies:

  • an early night
  • a longer guided formal mindfulness practice
  • an evening stroll – as little as 10 minutes of fresh air a day and a mindful walk without purpose (tuning in to the 5 senses to really try and be present) can both lift the mood
  • nutritious meals full of fruit and veg (apparently the increase in progesterone can make you crave ‘comfort food’)
  • a bubble bath to relax and recuperate.

What self-care tips work for you when you need to show yourself a bit of extra TLC?

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Two Tiny Hands

7 Comments

  1. June 19, 2017 / 8:39 am

    Hi Hayley,
    I just wrote you a quick tweet but wanted to post a longer comment too…
    I know how you feel, sometimes I feel the same way. But afterwards when I think about it and I wonder whether I was being unreasonable, I realise that I’m just making sure that everybody is ready on time because more time faffing around = less time having fun! I lso understand what you’re saying about the neighbours, but this is not something that you should make yourself sick about. We are all fighting our very own battles that other people don’t know about. When my stepdaughters were younger and their behaviours were more obviously affected by autism (screaming and crying, rolling on the floor at the airport security because they couldn’t stand having to queue for example) my partner had to face people’s ugly looks. They thought that he couldn’t control his children or that the girls had bad manners…
    As for tricks to counter the effects of the progesterone tablets, have you heard of evening primrose oil capsules? I take them regularly for PMS and they’re also good for the joints, hair and nails…
    I hope you’re feeling better today and that you realised that you are not a monster, just a human being in charge of other human beings, and as such sometimes patience runs out and it’s just normal!! 😉

    Have a wonderful day!

    Florence

    • onamindfulmummymission
      June 19, 2017 / 9:12 pm

      Thanks Florence – what a sweet comment. The title was a bit ‘tongue in cheek’ really but I do appreciate your advice and comments. Thanks again. xx

  2. June 20, 2017 / 7:31 am

    We all have weekends like that! I regularly hear my next door neighbours (as they do me) and only sympathise as I know how hard it can be. I have recently started ‘upcycling’ furniture and find this gives me the chance to zone out and is relaxing xx

  3. June 21, 2017 / 8:49 pm

    Oh I so hear you about this. I’m sorry you had a bad day but it sounds like you’re finding your way through. Incidentally, I had to quit synthetic progesterone because it made me depressed. I now take no pill at all and you can tell when it’s my time of month like clockwork because I start acting and feeling awful again like I did when I was on the pill! So there might be something about the pill for you too, but it sounds like your ideas for a little extra self-care are very good ones too. xx #familyfunlinky

  4. twotinyhands
    June 21, 2017 / 10:43 pm

    I started reading this thinking, oh I know how you feel! Then you mentioned me, so kind, it’s not easy parenting and you have 3 of them to deal with. I salute you! I love how you always chuck in some ways to help in all your posts. I really do endeavour to get that important sleep in! Not following that rule now 😝 ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

  5. June 24, 2017 / 4:06 pm

    I’m reading this immediately after reading karen’s post. I’ll say the same thing here that I did there, we’ve all been there.The key is to remember that tomorrow is another day and we’re all just doing the best we can #familyfun

    • onamindfulmummymission
      June 26, 2017 / 10:27 pm

      Thanks Jeremy – good point, well made 🙂

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