#RockingMotherhood Tag

It’s been a tough day.  So now I’m beating myself up about being a crap parent. Oh and I’m also eating chocolate.  And drinking wine.

There was a time when I may have just allowed myself to spiral into a mood of doom and gloom.  But not anymore.  Instead I turn to my blog. A cathartic release – and remember  with thanks, that a blogger friend of mine Lucy (from Lucy’s Locket) tagged me into Pat from White Camellias‘ fab #RockingMotherhood challenge in her post here.

The challenge is simple.  List 10 reasons why I am rocking motherhood.  It’s a very mindful activity – encouraging self-compassion – and just what I need right now, so I am more than happy to participate.

  1. Let’s kick off with a straightforward one  – I get my son to school EARLY.  EVERY MORNING.  Even with the toddler twins in tow.  This is not something I’d be particularly proud of (it’s not a competition after all) if it wasn’t for the fact that my boy is super anxious about being late. Because I know how important it is to him to be there before the school gates open, I do everything in my power to ensure that we are out of the door in good time.  Rarely is he not one of the first in the classroom, therefore starting off his school day with a smile on his face.
  2. I’m fair.  My son sweetly contributed this one for me when I told him about the challenge.  With three children there’s a lot of turn taking encouraged in our house.  However, I try to be realistic too; allowing them all to have special toys which don’t have to be shared.  This helps me stop the twins squabbling. Supposedly.
  3. We often end the day on a high (whatever has gone before) with a family ‘disco’.  The glitter ball and cheesy music goes on and the lights go off.  Everyone dances like ‘nobody is watching’ including the hubby and I.
  4. I use my knowledge as a teacher to try my best to help my own children.  We (I’ve mostly got the hubby on board) try really hard to encourage a Growth Mindset; praising effort, showing we value perseverance and determination.   I try to be honest about my own mistakes hoping that this will help the children understand that it’s perfectly natural to fail from time to time.  We also try and embrace being ‘stuck’ in our household but offer help after the little ones have given something a good go.  My son said:  “I  always like it when you help me with words if I’m stuck when I’m reading.”
  5. I survive on little sleep and am not even that irritable as a result!
  6. I try hard to keep lines of communication open. Eye contact.  Notes under doors.  Sleepy chats when we’re snuggling before bedtime.  Translating twin 1’s words and babble for other people – it was me that worked out she was actually saying “Christmas” when she said “hummus”!
  7. Mindfulness principles are part of the language of our home. The eldest knows that ‘Mummy meditates’.  At bedtime we reflect on small acts of kindness that we observed in the day or that we may have performed ourselves, gratitude is regularly expressed and empathy is encouraged.  The eldest sometimes uses ‘finger breathing’ to help him calm down.
  8. I’m a twin mum. Nuff said.  I surprised myself by being able to feed two newborns at the same time whilst also reading to the eldest.  I can still carry a nearly 2 year old on each hip when I need to.
  9. All three of the children are told that it’s okay to cry.  In fact I hope in time they know, sometimes it’s good to cry.  I never tell them to ‘shush’ or say ‘don’t cry’, instead I stay with whoever is upset (as much as possible) and allow them to let it all out with statements like ‘it’s okay to be sad’, ‘you’re angry’.
  10. And finally…They know they are loved.  Our days start with kisses and cuddles.  Our days end with kisses and cuddles and there are plenty in between too.  I tell my three poppets that I love them multiple times a day – I just can’t help myself. I trust they know just how special they are to me.

I feel much better having compiled this list.  I’d like to pass on the feel-good factor by tagging:

The Rules

  1. Thank the blogger that tagged you and link to their blog.
  2. List 10 things you believe make you a good parent (this is just a guideline. It can be more or less than 10. I really don’t mind).
  3. Tag 3 – 5 bloggers to join in the #RockingMotherhood Tag.
  4. Grab the #RockingMotherhgood badge and add it to your post or sidebar.

As she says in her post here Pat would love to read your posts so tweet her @whitecamellias and she will also RT it for you.

In reality though this is a great activity for any parent* to do…ESPECIALLY if you feel like you’re having a rubbish day.  Enjoy!


*or anyone really.  Just change the list to meet your needs…e.g. I’m Rocking Teaching because….

Single Mum Speaks
You Baby Me Mummy
Two Tiny Hands


  1. December 28, 2016 / 10:20 am

    I just love this tag and have been looking forward to reading your response. Glad this made you feel better, it’s a good job you saved it for another day after all!
    I love the family disco! I used to do this with my sisters when I was young. I also love number four – I hope I do these things when the time comes. I try my best to be gentle and feel that I’m doing a good job so far (if I do say so myself!), but Lilly is only 9 months, so there’s a lot of water to go under the bridge yet!
    p.s. If it makes you feel better, I’m eating brie cheese (half a wheel) AND Christmas chocolates 🙂

    • December 28, 2016 / 9:31 pm

      I am absolutely positive you are the sort of parent who will endeavour to help your child with a growth mindset… thanks so much for the tag, I did really enjoy doing it and love that you were eating cheese AND chocs – it is Christmas after all!! xx

  2. December 29, 2016 / 7:41 pm

    Hi Hayley, this is the first time I’ve come across your blog so hello!
    What a lovely tag. I just did the Christmas one and loved it. You sounds incredibly on top of everything, amazing! How on earth do you get out the door for school early with young twins?! I need some advice…
    Communication is super important to me too – I really don’t want my little boy bottling things up in the future.
    All the best
    Kimberly (Media Mummy) x

    • December 29, 2016 / 8:50 pm

      Ah thanks for the lovely comment Kimberly and hello. It is a really uplifting tag to do – I really enjoyed the challenge. I’m really not on top of things but that’s very kind of you to say 🙂 xx

  3. min1980
    December 29, 2016 / 8:55 pm

    Well you sound like you are more than #RockingMotherhood to me. I want you to be my mum! And I have a glitterball, so I will totally be doing the family disco, even though it’s just the two of us! Thanks for linking with #SchoolsOut

    • December 29, 2016 / 8:59 pm

      Ah bless you – there are lows as well as these highs that’s for sure!!!! I deffo recommend dusting the glitter ball off! xx

  4. mindfultreemama
    December 29, 2016 / 11:49 pm

    This post is so so thoughtful and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The whole entire post – wow. I’m so glad I stumbled upon it! The list items are exactly what I aspire to be as a parent, and I’m wondering if perhaps I should write my own list before my daughter is born in just about four weeks! This post has certainly planted the seed in my brain to help me ponder what values would be most important to pass onto my child(ren). I may have to snag a few of yours, as your bullet points were so well articulated. 🙂
    Thanks again for sharing and Happy New Year to you and your family!

    • December 30, 2016 / 12:13 am

      Ah I’m so pleased you found the post helpful. Yes, I’m sure writing a similar list would help you. Good luck with the imminent arrival of your daughter – exciting times 🙂 x

  5. December 30, 2016 / 7:36 pm

    Great read and so positive, you definitely rock mama! X #schoolsout

  6. January 3, 2017 / 11:32 am

    FAB !!! I love this and i like how your kids think you are fair and you end the day with a family disco.#TheLinkyList

  7. January 4, 2017 / 2:32 pm

    motherhood is hard as hell. So much of the time I feel like a daily failure. So many kids and so many nos.


    • January 6, 2017 / 2:37 pm

      Ah yes we need to watch those ‘beat yourself up thoughts’ and make sure they don’t get on top of us! xx

  8. twotinyhands
    January 5, 2017 / 9:03 am

    I love your family disco I really do. You are such a super star and definitely rock motherhood. This is an awesome tag. I’m trying to compile mine at the moment! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun

  9. January 6, 2017 / 3:50 pm

    Well yes you certainly are rocking motherhood. I love the bought of a disco. We do something similar with the Hokey Cokey – whatever gets you through I say. Thanks for joining us at #familyfun xx

  10. January 7, 2017 / 6:41 pm

    I love this! I got nominated for this too, I need to do mine. I basically want to be like you, you’re definitely rocking this 😉 It’s such a great idea of Pat’s as parents are often so hard on ourselves. #FamilyFun

  11. October 21, 2017 / 9:08 am

    Aw this is such a lovely idea. I think it’s so easy to criticise ourselves for what we do wrong. I’m having such a wobble about working full time at the moment but I have to at the moment so I just have to suck it up and focus on the times we do have. A whole week this week, cannot wait! X

  12. October 21, 2017 / 7:19 pm

    I absolutely love this Hayley, so great to remind ourselves of what we do well, you sound like such an awesome mum! I’m definitely going to look up ‘finger breathing’ as my daughter sometimes finds it difficult to calm down when she gets angry, and this sounds like a great idea.
    I so love the ‘telling them it’s okay to cry. ‘ I think children are exposed to so much that suggests that it’s not acceptable, we’ve been talking to our son lots recently about how it’s so important to express our emotions happy or sad, and release with crying when we need to. He was once called a ‘cry baby’ by his teacher when he got upset and sadly, this has really stuck with him.
    I so agree with ensuring that they feel loved with frequent kisses and cuddles and telling them is so important, we should never assume that children just ‘know.’ I still remember how much I loved and needed the cuddles from my parents as a child.
    Uplifting reading, thank you! #thesatsesh

  13. October 21, 2017 / 8:59 pm

    You totes rock motherhood, how fab to have a disco 🙂 X #thesatsesh

  14. October 22, 2017 / 5:54 am

    Love this list! You sound like such a cool, fun mom! Lol. #thesatsesh

  15. October 22, 2017 / 8:32 pm

    Love this tag, and we all should take a moment to be mindful at all the things we do well, rather than thinking about all of the fails! Rock on mama! #thesatsesh xoxo

  16. October 23, 2017 / 7:37 am

    It took me ages to write my list for this tag but when I did I felt so much better afterwards too. We love a good dance party to bring back the happy vibes when everyone is getting a bit tetchy, we don’t have a disco ball though, think I may have to rectify that! This is a r early great list, you totally rock x

  17. October 23, 2017 / 8:48 pm

    #thesatsesh ohhh I love this series and enjoyed writing my own. Starting the day with kisses and ending it is THE BEST. I think you should print this off and pop it in your work planner as a reminder that you are a rocking momma, friend and teacher 🙂

Leave a Reply