It’s been a tough day. So now I’m beating myself up about being a crap parent. Oh and I’m also eating chocolate. And drinking wine.
There was a time when I may have just allowed myself to spiral into a mood of doom and gloom. But not anymore. Instead I turn to my blog. A cathartic release – and remember with thanks, that a blogger friend of mine Lucy (from Lucy’s Locket) tagged me into Pat from White Camellias‘ fab #RockingMotherhood challenge in her post here.
The challenge is simple. List 10 reasons why I am rocking motherhood. It’s a very mindful activity – encouraging self-compassion – and just what I need right now, so I am more than happy to participate.
- Let’s kick off with a straightforward one – I get my son to school EARLY. EVERY MORNING. Even with the toddler twins in tow. This is not something I’d be particularly proud of (it’s not a competition after all) if it wasn’t for the fact that my boy is super anxious about being late. Because I know how important it is to him to be there before the school gates open, I do everything in my power to ensure that we are out of the door in good time. Rarely is he not one of the first in the classroom, therefore starting off his school day with a smile on his face.
- I’m fair. My son sweetly contributed this one for me when I told him about the challenge. With three children there’s a lot of turn taking encouraged in our house. However, I try to be realistic too; allowing them all to have special toys which don’t have to be shared. This helps me stop the twins squabbling. Supposedly.
- We often end the day on a high (whatever has gone before) with a family ‘disco’. The glitter ball and cheesy music goes on and the lights go off. Everyone dances like ‘nobody is watching’ including the hubby and I.
- I use my knowledge as a teacher to try my best to help my own children. We (I’ve
mostlygot the hubby on board) try really hard to encourage a Growth Mindset; praising effort, showing we value perseverance and determination. I try to be honest about my own mistakes hoping that this will help the children understand that it’s perfectly natural to fail from time to time. We also try and embrace being ‘stuck’ in our household but offer help after the little ones have given something a good go. My son said: “I always like it when you help me with words if I’m stuck when I’m reading.”
- I survive on little sleep and am not even
thatirritable as a result!
- I try hard to keep lines of communication open. Eye contact. Notes under doors. Sleepy chats when we’re snuggling before bedtime. Translating twin 1’s words and babble for other people – it was me that worked out she was actually saying “Christmas” when she said “hummus”!
- Mindfulness principles are part of the language of our home. The eldest knows that ‘Mummy meditates’. At bedtime we reflect on small acts of kindness that we observed in the day or that we may have performed ourselves, gratitude is regularly expressed and empathy is encouraged. The eldest sometimes uses ‘finger breathing’ to help him calm down.
- I’m a twin mum. Nuff said. I surprised myself by being able to feed two newborns at the same time whilst also reading to the eldest. I can still carry a nearly 2 year old on each hip when I need to.
- All three of the children are told that it’s okay to cry. In fact I hope in time they know, sometimes it’s good to cry. I never tell them to ‘shush’ or say ‘don’t cry’, instead I stay with whoever is upset (as much as possible) and allow them to let it all out with statements like ‘it’s okay to be sad’, ‘you’re angry’.
- And finally…They know they are loved. Our days start with kisses and cuddles. Our days end with kisses and cuddles and there are plenty in between too. I tell my three poppets that I love them multiple times a day – I just can’t help myself. I trust they know just how special they are to me.
I feel much better having compiled this list. I’d like to pass on the feel-good factor by tagging:
- Zoe from Petite Pudding
- Lucy from What My Fridge Says and
- Martyn from Inside Martyn’s Thoughts (his can be a #rockingfatherhood tag!)
- Thank the blogger that tagged you and link to their blog.
- List 10 things you believe make you a good parent (this is just a guideline. It can be more or less than 10. I really don’t mind).
- Tag 3 – 5 bloggers to join in the #RockingMotherhood Tag.
- Grab the #RockingMotherhgood badge and add it to your post or sidebar.
As she says in her post here Pat would love to read your posts so tweet her @whitecamellias and she will also RT it for you.
In reality though this is a great activity for any parent* to do…ESPECIALLY if you feel like you’re having a rubbish day. Enjoy!