Capturing Mindful Moments with toddler twins

The twins are 18 months old in a few days time and as all parents know, little people change so quickly at this age.  With our older child we have, what seems like hundreds of video clips which seemingly document his every move as a toddler, and also an incredible amount of photos too.

At around a similar age to the girls now (or a little older I guess) I also started to note down all the funny phrases he came out with like:

  • “Mummy we need celebrate to fix it!” (we actually needed cellotape),
  • “I don’t need my tissue Mummy, I ate the bogey alllll up.”
  • “Mummy call the police I made the cats jump….”

and the list could go on and on.  Yet I hold my hands up that like most mums of more than one, that the second (and third child in the twins’ case) are not going to have such thoroughly recorded childhoods.  Nor do they receive the unadulterated attention that the first born enjoyed in his early life – this may be no bad thing though as I will explore in another post, however I still feel guilty about it.  And I have to admit that sometimes this bothers me.

It bothers me that I hardly have any video clips of the girls.  It bothers me that I have loads less photos of them than their big brother (whenever I try to capture a special moment I generally get the dreaded message that I don’t have enough storage on my phone to take that photo) .  And it bothers me that I probably won’t have a notes page for each twin on my phone for all the lovely phrases they are going to come out with in the next two or so years (mostly because as soon as I get my phone out 3 small children launch themselves at me to try and grab it out of my hand).

But why does it bother me so much?

Firstly, I worry, probably irrationally, that somehow this inequality may upset the girls one day and imagine conversations along the lines of “Mum, I’m seeing a therapist because you have loads more photos of big bro than you do of me”.  I also realise that I don’t have as many photos of the girls on their own as I would like. As someone who wants to encourage their individuality I could start to ruminate about this too if I allowed myself.

 

Secondly, I worry that as I get older the lovely memories of these crazy days of twin toddlerdom will fade and diminish.

So this post, a record of some of my recent ‘mindful moments’ with twin 1 and twin 2 (so-called by the hospital in the early days because of the 2 minute age difference) is my attempt to go some way to fix this.  I read two very endearing posts recently that inspired me.  The first from L at www.adventureswithj.co.uk about her little one hitting the 18 month milestone and the second from Karen at www.twotinyhands.co.uk in celebration of her little one turning one. They both epitomise a mindful approach to living by observing the small, ordinary but still very precious moments of the everyday and showing gratitude for these.  Hopefully by blogging about just a few of the twins’ current likes/dislikes and foibles I will be able to remember these moments with greater clarity.

twinsTwin 1 –  I love that:

  1. you babble A LOT.  It seems like you are telling us SUCH important thdinosaur-clipart-dinosaur.pngings when you chat and I love that you sound so excited about the world at these times
  2. you say ‘cat’, ‘dinosaur’, ‘Peppa’ ‘Momma’ ‘Dada’ and do a brilliant ‘quack’ too!
  3. you are so very patient and often sit contentedly in your cot stroking the label of ‘Christmas bear’ while I tend to the demands of twin 2
  4. you have a shoe and hat fetish and love to empty the shoe cupboard and wander around the house wearing your big brother’s bicycle helmet
  5. are so very robust that you aren’t bothered when you tumble off the sofa or fall over in the park.

Twin 2 –  I love that:

  1. you wave to passers-by in the street and shout ‘hello’ in a crystal clear voice.  And that the other words you speak with clarity are ‘Mummy’, ‘Daddy’, ‘B…’, ‘M…’ (brother’s and sister’s names) ‘bye-bye’ and ‘nanite’.  You are a real chatterbox and mimic and the language explosion recently has been amazing
  2. you are obsessed with the song ‘horsey, Horse-clipart-images-horse-clip-art-pictures-clipartixhorsey don’t you stop’ and will sing it at every opportunity!
  3. you love a cuddle and will be assertive about getting one so that you can twiddle the person’s hair and have a thumb suck at the same time
  4. you run to the front door when Daddy or I come home from work and have a big smile on your face to greet us
  5. you jump out at us and say ‘boo’ and then giggle!

The two of you together are a force to be reckoned with because:

  1. you both respond with ‘no’ as an answer to EVERY question you are asked (or it feels like you do anyway!) even when you DO want the offering!
  2. you clearly adore your ‘big brother’ and save your biggest and best giggles for when he is entertaining you
  3. you are very difficult to contain in one room when the door is even briefly opened and as soon as one escapes the other will make a bid for freedom too
  4. you still squeeze into a swing together at the park and so still attract many admiring glances
  5. will be giving each other kisses and cuddle one minute and then be hitting and hair pulling the next (usually when you both want my phone, my keys or a particular book).

twins joke.jpg

I will endeavour to continue to record some of our family’s mindful moments on the blog but will also show myself some self-compassion about the fact that, rather naturally, I have less photos of the girls compared to how many we have of their big bro.   The most important point is that there is lots of love to be shared round the three children and this does not have to be measured through the amount of video clips and photos that there are.

I’m sure others of you have this disparity of photos and videos – does anyone else feel any guilt about this or is it just me?

Are you a younger sibling who has grown up with less photos around the house of you and did you have any thoughts or feelings about this as you were growing up?

 

 

 

The Pramshed

You Baby Me Mummy

Petite Pudding

14 Comments

  1. July 9, 2016 / 8:47 am

    Lovely post. It’s hard capturing all of the lovely moments whether it’s photos or little diary notes about the little brothers and sisters! The “I love that” posts for each of the twins are so nice! Remember one day they will be looking at your blog as a cute way of capturing memories xx

    • July 11, 2016 / 9:51 pm

      Ah thank you so much Sunita – yes it’s nice to think this post can be a momento for the little ones. xx

  2. July 9, 2016 / 9:42 am

    Oh well done you coping with twins, plus two! But, actually, it sounds mega fun! ‘I ate the bogey all up’ made me gag a little, hehe. #fortheloveofBLOG

    • July 11, 2016 / 9:52 pm

      Hee hee – yes that is pretty disgusting, but we do generally have great fun amidst the chaos? x

  3. July 11, 2016 / 10:01 pm

    I love the list of memories for each twin, they are so cute, and it’s nice to see that they are so different from each other. I think that every parent is guilty of not capturing the memories enough, we certainly are. Since day 1 we have had a book to place pictures and memories in, have we filled it? No. She’s one in a few week’s time. I really need to get my skates on and complete it. But what I have also found is the older she’s getting the less pictures we are taking too. I really need to get better, as she’s changing every single day. Keep going with creating your mindful memories hun. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    • July 12, 2016 / 8:19 pm

      Thanks so much for the reassuring and encouraging words Claire and I know what you mean about those 1st year memory books – they can just become another trigger for ‘mummy guilt’ if we’re not careful. x

  4. Sophie Haywood
    July 12, 2016 / 6:56 pm

    Awww lovely Hayley. I have hardly any video clips of Emi (only got my rubbish phone) and I video of K and not written any phrases down. But I’m happy with my memories and the here and now 🙂 so who was photographed more, me or you 😉 xxxxx

    • July 12, 2016 / 8:21 pm

      Ah thanks so much for taking the time to comment on this post Soph. So pleased you’re happy with the memories and you’re right a few years ago we had none of this technology to record so many things anyway! Hee hee – re who was photographed most….I suppose the fact that neither of us is sure shows it’s not something I have to worry about for my 3. 🙂 xxxxx

  5. July 12, 2016 / 6:57 pm

    Oh this is just lovely! I am so glad that you have been able to record this little things which you will probably forget and now you will be able to look back and remember them 🙂 Thank you for linking back to my post, that was very kind of you! I also think that when you have 3 children to attend to it is only natural that the camera/phone/notepad comes out less!! I have less photos of J this year than last because he just can’t keep still to take a good photo! Must try and get more though.

    • July 12, 2016 / 8:24 pm

      Phew – pleased you like it Laura and am so pleased that I have written down even some of the things I am enjoying and noticing about the girls at the moment. Yes it is only natural not to be taking so many photos when they’re getting older and/or we have bigger families so we must be kind to ourselves. x

  6. You Baby Me Mummy
    July 14, 2016 / 6:37 pm

    I love all the crazy things kids say and you have double the fun 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

  7. July 16, 2016 / 9:17 pm

    I can agree that I don’t have quite so many ‘treasure’ from Pudding – but I probably do have more pictures due to the blog! Its hard second (third time) round as you just don’t have the time! No less loved just a little less proof perhaps? #PuddingLove

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